Say won't you Say

The Making of an Artist

I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about this whole "blog" thing. But i've learned that the only way to really figure out how you feel about something is to just go for it, feel it out, and see where it takes you. With 5 semesters of college behind me the only thing that I have found to be consistent with each one is that none of them have been the same. I have found that there are pro's and con's the constant changing that occurs with each semester of college. I felt like each year before college wasn't filled with much change, although looking back I can see how the Lord was molding me and changing me, against my will I think. It is the constant change of mind, heart, environment, and friends that have led me to my second semester of my Junior year of college, where I almost feel as though I have started college all over again.

Before I came to college my daddy enouraged me to layout a "plan", whatever that means. And so I proceeded to write out what I wanted the next four years of my life to look like, scholastically anyways. I had a major picked out and found that there was a way to graduate in four years while taking lots of summer school and trying to work as much as possible to start to decrees the debt that I could already feel occuring with student loans. I love my daddy very much, but the whole having a plan thing, is pretty much a way of setting yourself up for the Lord to show you that His plan is the only one that Will prevail, and yours is crap.

Needless to say, plans change and we just have to say "ok" and go with it. So I started this semester with a brand new major. The Lord has always given me a Passion for Art. I'm not a natural at it, but its something that I have always been able to love and appreciate. So coming out of high school art classes I wanted to major in something with Art that would be glamorous and make me a as much money as possible(this is seriously how I thought then, sick I know). So I was enouraged to pursue Interior Design in hopes of being this big-time, trading spaces regular who got paid to show people how to make things beautiful in their homes while going broke in the process. Well I did that for 2 and a half years and found that I would be miserable leading a life that consisted of me being that for the rest of my life. The Lord has been impressing upon me leading a life that is not about me, doing things that matter, and hopefully loving it in the process. I wasnt sure, but I felt Him trying to show me that I had the ability to teach......mind you, that I have utter the words, "whatever I do, I will NEVER be a Teacher, I don't want to be poor!" many times in my life. So I think my flesh tried to fight this inevitability for so long, and when I earnestly, wholeheartedly prayed " Lord your Will, not mine, take my future and have your way with it"; This is what He showed me, that I could teach Art and combine something I never thought I could do, with something that I Loved doing! He's pretty amazing like that. I still have doubts all the time; "I will fail as a teach", "I'm not a good enough artist", "I will be broke!". But I have learned to simply replace those lies from Satan with truths that I know about my Great God and know that He has me right where He wants me and not amount of my worry and doubt can shake His faithfullness to his Children who love Him.

So, plans change and I have come to grips with that. And although the future is so up in the air, and I have no idea what I will be doing or where I will be in five years, I know that that is ultimately right where He wants me, b/c that is where I can be best used by Him and most seceptible to His callings on my heart. I have learned to take my life day by day, moment by moment and know that God is not even close to being done with me and will continue till the day of completetion.

posted by Amanda Michelle Morrison @ 1:02 PM