Say won't you Say

Washing my Hands Clean of This

Has there ever been someone that you really didn't want to like, would love to hate in fact, but there is just no way that was gonna happen? I found myself in this predicament tonight. Why do I insist on letting jealousy and pride get in the way of kindness and making a new friend. While I know these are not the things that I am made of, or the way that the Lord would have me be in a situation like that, they still seem to get the best of my emotions and heart at that moment. I don't feel like I outwardly expressed these things, but that's almost worse I think; the fact that I was so genuinely nice to this person and on the inside was trying to dig up mean, hateful feelings just for the sake of apeasing my stupid pride. I suppose this is normal, but that definitely doesn't make it right and I am so frustrated with myself. All I know to do is lean on the things I know to be true right now. God is Good. He is very much in control. He loves me and wants His very best for me in all areas of my life. He will never leave or forsake me. He is faithful to His children who love Him and call on Him.

I have decided to take the high road on this one, or at least attempt to with the Lord holding my hand. I am washing my hands clean of this to prevent falling into more sin and more hurt feelings. I'm praying that the Lord would take me back to a place where I was So close to Him. A couple of times come to mind; but not that I would backtrack, instead take these last few months, see what the Lord has been teaching me through all of this and what I am supposed to walk away with. How has He grown me and molded me through all of this? I'm taking all of this to the Cross and leaving it there once and for all. Already feeling better and hopeful of tomorrow for new blessings and a new day.

posted by Amanda Michelle Morrison @ 12:43 AM