Overflow
My lovely friends Kim and Lindsey introduced me to this song by
Overflow called
Cry on my Shoulder and the words to this sweet song have resonated in my mind since I heard it for the first time this weekend.
" You no longer have to say, "no one's listening anyway". Come here and cry on My shoulder I'll hold you till its over, I'll rescue you tonight. Let My arms be your shelter, your hiding place forever, I'll love you more than Life!" These words are so precious and so true! Even when we feel like there's not a soul who "gets" us or what we are going through the Lord is eagerly waiting for us to run to Him with it! With Finals quickly approaching I can't help but have moments like these where I do question where He is in all of this. Funny that I think that is right where he would have us so that we will come to Him and let Him rescue us and be our Hero, if you will. Ahhhhhh my Hero! =) check out the song its glorious
thankful for rest
Although school is rapidly coming to an end, which I am thrilled about; this past week has been way more relaxed than many of the weeks I have had the last few months. There is inevitably stuff that needs to be done, always, but I have allowed for doing some things that I wanted to do rather than trying to check things off a list and meeting deadlines. monday will begin the last full week of the semester and then a week or so of Finals and then it will all be done. So I have no doubt that trying to balance projects, Studying like crazy for tests, packing, and trying to spend ample amounts of time with friends who I won't see or talk to until August is going to make these last couple of weeks here very full and crazy. So I am going to use this weekend to be fairly productive, but also to rest and enjoy not being on a time clock for a couple of days. As excited as I am about California this summer, I can't help but think about how much I will miss my friends here at school. It's always weird making these amazing friends each year here at school, and growing even closer with the old one's, and yet missing the friends you've grown up with your whole life so badly because you haven't seen them is such a long time~there's got to be a balance. I don't think I have ever quite achieved this balance and going and spending two months with 60 new people and building even more relationships is going to throw any chance of a balance I ever had, Way out of wack! I know it's ok; every relationship we encounter serves a specific purpose in our lives I am convinced. I think we just have to take it one day at a time and always remember to tell people what they mean to us!
Learning to Expect the Unexpected
It's been said that things in life will come to you when you least expect them, and in a way in which you would've never expected. I interpret this as, when one is sitting around waiting and hoping for things to happen all the time and planning out exactly when, where, with whom, and how things will take place, that is pretty much the kiss of death and that you can just forget about those things because nothing will happen when you are expecting it. Now this is of course leaving out the idea of God's timing, and the fact that there is nothing we can do to prevent or increase things that will happen in our lives, because the Lord already knows and see things that we do not. Kari, my beloved discipler and friend said it in this way when we last met; The idea of someone planning out the perfect gift to give someone they love and cherish so dearly, but having to wait till the perfect moment such as a birthday to be able to finally give this person the incredible gift that you had put so much time, preparation, thought, and love into~~I think this is similar to how our God looks at us many times. He has all of these amazing gifts that he has prepared for our lives, but that are only to be given to us at the perefct time~His perfect time. How hard it must be for our Father to see us longing for these things so often and Him just saying Wait, Wait it's not time yet. I take great comfort in knowing that rather it be things that I expect or things that will come to me unexpectedly, that it was perfectly timed and crafted by my God who will take great joy in blessing me those gifts when He says it's time for them to come. I await His timing with great expectations of what He can and will do.
Spring Fever
" I got a fever, and the only prescription is......?" Well, no amount of "cowbell" is going to help this. hahahaha But seriously, what is it with Spring Semester, it always seems to drag on forever! I don't want to do school right now; its beautiful outside nearly everyday and I would SO rather be down at the pool or at the River with friends. This year its especially bad I feel because I know what's coming here in exactly 2 months, CALIFORNIA! I've never had something so exciting to look forward to like this before, I mean summer is always great, but I have no idea what all I am instore for this summer. Other things come along with Spring Fever as well. Its seems like everywhere you turn there are cute little couples! Grace and I went to Marble Slab last night for a little break from studying and I swear it was like Date Night at the Slab or something! It's definitely more of a challenge to feel content when you feel like its all around you and I think it's definitely our nature to want that as well. I've done a bit of a silly thing in procrastinating on a paper I've known about for months and so therefore the pressure is on to get the stupid thing done in 48 hours. I always work better under pressure anyways =)~at least that's what I keep telling myself! Striving to be a Lady of diligence is difficult under these circumstances, but I'm working on it. The Lord is Faithful and He's pulled me out of many other Spring semesters just fine, so I know this one will be no different.
Surprise
We through a surprise birthday party for Ethan last night at Grace's. His response, " You guys throw so many surprise parties I honestly wouldve been shocked if I didn't get one!" Well I definitely don't think we will be throwing another one for a very long time, but I got think Ethan had a good birthday rather he was actually surprised or not. I think its hilarious how every gathering we have with our friends turns to playing frisbee, volleyball, and surprisingly last night, Josh Thomas Bronlewee throwing in shirt off in order to prove his manhood over Dan in the act of wrestling in the sand; absolutely hilarious. I guess no matter how old boys get they always resort to their ways of fighting, adventure, activity, and competition. Megan and I went to Starbucks and created another little surprise, that went surprisingly well. I feel that I've been surprising myself alot lately; or rather the Lord has been surprising me in many ways. Support raising for my summer project is making me more dependent on prayer than ever. It's coming in very slowly, but It's increasing my faith by every single check that comes in the mail. Now I need to surprise myself by getting all of the Large amounts of work I have for school done in the next 48 hours! We'll see how that goes!
In Awe
Nothing too profound or extremely clever thoughts, just a girl amazed by the wonders of her creator. Tonight I saw about the coolest storm outside that Ive ever seen. The Lightning didn't stop for about 30 minutes straight and literally lit up the whole sky over and over again. I watched most of it through the windows at Starbucks as I studied and chatted with Grace. As I got in my car to head home at a moment when the rain had ceased, but the lightning was still going strong, the song that happen to come on my mixed cd right as I turned on my car was "Sing Alleluia" by Jennifer Knapp and Mac Powell, one of my all time favorite worship songs ( coincidence, I think Not! =) ) So I sat in Awe of the beauty and majesty of the Lord, even in the midst of a storm ( and what shouldve been a stressful night of studying) and found myself in such a peaceful, thankful place. So I leave the words of that song as they have Resonated in my mind and heart since I left the car this evening~
" All creatures of our God and King, lift up your voice and with us sing. The Sun and moon and stars rejoice on high, praise to the Lord of life divine. Sing Alleluia, Sing Alleluia, Praise the Father above, Sing Alleluia.....Sing Alleluia, Sing Alleluia, for His infinite Love Sing Alleluia. Praise to the Giver of good things, Merciful Father Holy King. Join with the Angels sing out loud, Praise Him who reigns above the clouds. Oh Praise Him, when the morning comes, for the rising sun, when the day is done, praise the Lord above. All creatures of our God and King lift up your voice and with us sing!"
Back in the Habit
My times meeting with the wonderful miss Kari Kennedy are always great~but today she triggered something in me that was way over due. I think its so good to have someone in your life who will ask you the questions you dont want to be asked, but that you NEED to be asked. She reminded me the importance of not simply feeling close to the Lord, but that the goal is to continue to yearn for Him and know Him more more deeply. I feel like the last few weeks I have let myself plateau. I havent felt far from the Lord, but I have been compromising and selling myself short and who the Lord would have me be. I don't want my time spent with the Lord to become a duty or a habit, but I want to Thrive for it and to make it a priority that I want more that anything. So tonight when I was babysitting, after the kids were asleep and I had finished up some studying I had some good, much needed get real with God time. Even though school is crazy and Spring time is always the worst about feeling motivated to do anything except bask in the sun and spend some fun time with friends~It's not an excuse. I did a lesson last week with my bible study about "Joy" and I realized that there are lots of things that I can find Joy in pretty easily, but that I have been neglecting the Pure Source of my Joy, and the One who created the concept of Joy and has promised me Joy through the Holy Spirit. So I know that just like any relationship its going to take work and time and patience. I am thankful for Kari allowing me to be so honest with her and being honest with myself about such things. Taking it one day at a time.
Highlights of the weekend....
Friday~Kidnapping to marble slab........Derek Jean modeling for me and Sean ( Not Painters pants Jeans might I add, but Boot Cuts!)........Jessie drunk of Cold Medicine and very entertaining on the car ride to Austin......Donald Miller~Excellent.....Mozarts always fabulous.....Bickering with Ethan over the fact that he is an intellectual and I am not, hahaha
Saturday~ 9am text from Grace to go watch Ultimate tournament, getting to the fields to find that the gates are all locked, Grace jumps the fence, I whine and pout about it for a little while, I finally get the guts to try and crawl through what appeared to be a small opening and make it through (muddy knees and all!)...........Guy with the white shorts........Colin's game.....Blue.......Grace and I should never hangout when we are both in such a boy crazy state!........Spurs v.s Lakers game with Bri!
Sunday~ More Texting from Grace early in the morning.........Colin's game again.....Blue........Fun jam session in Megan's sweet car (Boys to Men).......more Ultimate= more Blue......and the weekend isn't even over!
*Notice how studying and homework havent entered on the events of the weekend yet....that is still to come on the agenda!
A Delicate Flower~Lovely and Captivating
" When I have a brand new hair due, with my eyelashes all in curls, I float as the clouds of air due, I Enjoy Being a Girl! I'm strictly a female, Female and I my future I hope will be, in the home of a free male, who will enjoying being a guy, having a girl like me! I Enjoy Being a Girl!"~Broadway (also the song in the new Gap commercials with Sarah Jessica Parker, just so you get the tune in your head!)John Eldridge claims that all girls long in the depths of hearts and souls to be considered lovely and captivating. Wise man, that Eldridge. I think part of what differenciates us as women is our ability to feel a multitude of emotions all at the same time, and to know that we have the freedom to be honest about them. I made the comment last night that I am a "sensitive and delicate flower", I stand by this. I truly believe that all girls are sensitive in their own right ( Every girl I've ever known anyways) and therefore need guys who will understand and respect this about them. The Lord made us this way, and although it's not always fun it's something that I have learned to love and accept about myself. The Lord says that we are precious, and worth gentle consideration and tender love and care~just as the delicate flower. Not saying that guys should walk on egg-shells, or sensor themselves in order to appease the sensitive needs of girls all the times, but just being aware of this truth about girls and understanding why we act and react the way that we do, and that its perfectly normal. I love being a girly girl and wouldn't change it for the world. I know that someday I will better understand why I am exactly the way that I am, when I can see it working together to compliment and to be complimented by someone else. But for now, I am embracing the Delicate Flower in hopes of being considered Lovely and Captivating, and knowing that my Jesus already sees me as this.
