Say won't you Say: August 2006

Monday, August 28, 2006

Figure Drawing class:day 1

So for the last 4 or 5 days i've been totally freaked out about my figure drawing class that is a mandatory class for my major; no getting around it, I will be drawing nude models every Monday and Wednesday for the remainder of the semester. So today was the first class day and I was so nervous this morning. I was praying, trying my hardest not to think about the events taking place at 2:00pm and lasting until 4:30; Art classes are way too long, and I never realized exactly how long they are until today.

I was barely able to get some lunch down, and was popping pills and drinking a lot of water , followed by more praying and then it was time to gather my supplies and head to class. I knew that we would be having both a guy model and a girl model this semester, and I couldnt figure out which I would rather have first and get out of the way, I knew both were going to be awkward. But, as quickly as I could get my large Newsprint pad of paper up on my easel and take my charcoal out of the package, there standing before me was a de-robed male with lights out and spotlights on him. My stomach quickly dropped and I just kept thinking, "Adam and Eve, Adam and Eve" this is just art, the human body....nothing to be ashamed of.....this should not embarrass me, the model was clearly not shy about it at all.

After about 30 minutes, I was focusing more on the actual drawing technique than what it was I was drawing. After the full 2 hours and 30 minutes it had slipped my mind that there was a guy wearing no clothes standing in front of me. I was, much to my disbelief, able to get over it, and actually see it for what it was meant to be for me at that moment, which is Art.

Wednesday we will have a girl model, that should be a breeze after today!

Feeling Surprised and overwhelmed at the moment,

A

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Sliding doors

Only 2 more days of freedom and then I begin what will be my very last Fall semester of College EVER! That's a great, but strange feeling. I decided to go rent a few flicks tonight in light of the my summer quickly coming to an end. I found one of my all time favorite movies Sliding Doors, which is a British flick that features Gwenyth Paltrow circuit 1996 and some other British actors whose names I do not know; I knew I had to get it and watch it immediately.

I can't even pin point what it is I enjoy about this movie so much, but for years I have continued to rent it time and time again, I should just purchase it, but its pretty hard to find. The overall premise of the movie is Gwen's character Helen is preceding with a typical day coming home from work and catching/missing the subway train. The rest of the movie shows the events that would've happen for both instances her missing her train, in which she ends up getting fired, mugged, and stays with her lover who has been shamelessly cheating on her. The other seamier of her actually catching her train, shows her getting fired, but getting home just in time to catch her lover in the act and changes her path from that point on and she goes on to meet a great guy, start up a brilliant new business endeavor, and cut off all her hair and dye it blonde.

It got me thinking about all the "sliding doors" in life, and how the little decisions or choices or incidents can and will alter the events, conversations, and actions to follow. I know that as believers we know that these things aren't at all by "chance" but are a part of a greater plan and story for our lives that the Lord has predestined for us, but I have to believe that free will gives us opportunities to make choices, rather they be good or not so good at the time...and that these choices help us to figure out what will come next, to guide our steps and some are completely out of our control, such as barely missing the train.

Just food for thought...It's a great movie if you enjoy a little British cursing and humor and of course there is romance and drama in it.

Trying to get through my new book, " Do you think I'm beautiful?" before school starts on Wed, it's really good, but we'll see how it goes :-)

Blessings

Monday, August 14, 2006

In a word.....Rest

I'm thoroughly enjoying taking time to breathe, and to be still a bit over this next week. Summer has flown by, and I have a thousand things on my mind that are quickly approaching this fall, but I'm not letting myself think about them yet, at least not until next week. So my basically one week of summer vacation is going to be spent getting some sun and swimming at Lindsey and Kim's pool, playing with my dog, working a little, babysitting a little, and reading some for fun.

There are so many times in the past where I have felt like I was just sort of sitting back observing and watching life happen; times where I have felt like a spectator rather than an actual participant in just life in general. It's nice now because while I'm not off doing anything especially extraordinary right at this moment, I definitely feel like I am whole heartedly being a participant and living fully each day, even if not too much is actually being done. So often I've been waiting for things, ie saying "well when this happens.....or when fall comes, or spring, or when I graduate".......we are constantly waiting for the next "big thing" to come, and in the mean time we are missing all the moments right now where we are fully able to live in the now. Just something I've been thinking about and really trying to do, especially since I know this next year is going to fly by, and I don't want to waste my last year of college with too many thoughts about "what's next".

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

tunnel vision

Perspective is a concept that we learn in art classes and that I will be teaching my students every year, once I finally begin teaching. It's difficult because you have one-point perspective, which is basically a focal point and one view from however far away you are from the point, both height and depth wise of course. But then you have to go into 2 point perspective and 3 point perspective, tell me how I'm suppose to teach adolescents that concept!

Last night I felt like I was seeing a very narrow one-point perspective on a few things in my life right now and I had to have my dear friend Grace provide me with a much needed reality/perspective check. I think sometimes I am only able to see what's right in front of me and I forget that there is much more to be seen outside of my very limited 5'8" San Marcos/Texas State vision. She has been a great friend here for the last 4 years and was just the person to remind me who I am, and what I want.....not that I know exactly what that is, but I know what its Not. I don't ever want to just settle for things, I definitely feel like that is a result of not fully trusting the Lord with every area of my life.

Today was much better though, I definitely felt like I had more of the 2 point or even the 3 point perspective today. Who would've thought that a basic art lesson could relate so well to real life situations :-)

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Back in Action

It's been far too long! Summer has flown by, taking school and working like a mad woman to support my dog has made the time soar! Top 10 things to know about my summer:

10. Jessie has moved in Abby's room, and she is a great addition to our apt!

9. The more money I make the more I want to spend and I have wanted to spend it at Pottery Barn since thats where I work; therefore I get discounts and justify every purchase, which I am not out of control with it yet by any means!

8. We had a really fun girly dinner party at my apt for Bri's birthday in June and Lindsey found her knew appreciation for wine :-)

7. Speaking of Lindsey, we went to Austin in a limo ( Driven by Morgan) to celebrate her 21st birthday at the end of May and it was SO fun!

6. I got a B in my sculpture class and was thrilled with the grade, and to have that class out of the way! I am now about to finish my Painting class, and I am SO sad to be done with it, but I'm fully expecting an A in it and have enjoyed every minute of it, even though it has been at 8am every morning for the last 3 weeks!

5. I miss my Rockwall girls like crazy! I havent seen Abby or Kim since May! Katie and I have seen each other a few times this summer, but I can't wait for us to all see each other again, it will be in September at Brittany and Jared's wedding! AKA class of '02 rockwall high reunion, hahaha but it should be fun.

4. I missed Corrie and Marisa SO much while they were in East Asia on Summer Project in June, but they have returned home safely and it has been SO good to have them back!

3. Michael Rice and Becca Anne had their wedding in June and it was SO fun! Allison diving for the bouquet, Ed the dancer, Bethany Dillon "For My Love" was the song she came down the isle to! It was quite lovely and everyone had so much fun!

2. Nikki, Grace, and Marisa now live downstairs and all 6 of us girls in our building have been her the last week and it's already been so fun! We feel like its a sorority house, ok not really at all hahaha, BUT, since its my last year here at Texas State I think it will be so neat for us to all live together and do life together this final year. I'm excited!

1. Mozart, I now have a child. Ok not literally, but I have taken on full responsibility for a tan, 5 pound, chuiwawa. He's Super cute, but he is a handful at times. I dont know what I wouldve done without him for that 6 weeks I lived alone here though. I absolutely hated living by myself, but once he came, I didnt feel alone any more. We are already very attached to each other, and its always fun to come home everyday and have someone SO excited to see you :-)

Summer school is over on Tuesday/Wednesday of next week and after its over I plan on doing a lot of laying by the pool and reading for fun, that is until fall starts in 2 weeks and I get to start the madness all over again! :-)

Say won't you Say